Dieser Beitrag wurde ursprünglich in Storify angelegt und mit der Abschaltung von Storify im Mai 2018 ins Blog übertragen.
I know it’s early, but — buckle up, my precious artmonkeys. Time to talk about self-doubt and how we are our own worst enemies.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
First, let’s just say this up front: self-doubt for writers and artists and other creative-types? SUPERNORMAL. Common as clockwork. Really!
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
We all feel like, I CAN'T DO THIS. I DON'T BELONG HERE. I AM A STOWAWAY AND AN IMPOSTOR OH SHIT SHIT FUCK SHIT.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
And it makes sense that it’s normal. MAKING THINGS is often a long, weird, uncertain journey. It’s a trip into a dark, faraway forest.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
You don’t know how long you’re going to be gone. Weeks, months, years. Very hard to find your bearings. We crave certainty, but find none.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Creating a thing – novel, painting, whatever – isn’t like a quick little tapdance. You get no feedback. This isn’t PUSH BUTTON FOR TREAT.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
(Actually, sometimes it feels like PUSH BUTTON FOR ELECTRIC SHOCK TO MY SELF-ESTEEM AND ALSO PROBABLY MY GENITAL REGION OW OW OW OW.)
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
It's a process. A journey. A test.
It’s just YOU and THE THING in an emotionally unstable, uncomfortable roommate situation.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Halfway through and it’s, “I don’t understand this thing anymore. It smells weird and won’t wash the dishes. MISTAKES WERE MADE.”
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
It’s why we give up in the middle. We’re lost out there. Easier to turn around, go back to civilization. “FUCK THIS POOP PARADE, I’M OUT.”
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
And this is true no matter how many times you do it. I've written a bunch of books and feel lost every single fucking time.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
And yet, you must persist! Art demands commitment in the face of good, clean common sense. Story requires the absence of reason.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Big question is, how do you defy common sense? How do you join the circus and tell self-doubt to go get fucked in a ditch somewhere?
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Okay, part of this is mechanical. You can give yourself tools to make it through, and those tools are different for everybody.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
(You know how, in D&D, you always get the character who brings 50 feet of fucking rope? THAT IS THE SMARTEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME.)
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
You gotta bring the rope. Something to hold onto as you haul your ass through the long dark forest.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
There are times while writing when I can think of a really good use for that rope.
— Scary Whitta (@garywhitta) September 30, 2016
That might be an outline. Or a notebook. Or a collage of characters. A whiteboard. Post-Its. Tools and touchstones to look at and hold.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
But there's also a larger, less mechanical struggle going on when self-doubt is in play. And that's the harder battle to fight.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Here, maybe, is how you fight it: recognize that you have two parts of you. You have THE ARTIST and you have THE CRITIC.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
THE CRITIC inside you is good at picking things apart. THE CRITIC is reason, logic, wisdom. THE CRITIC will tell you where you are wrong.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
But THE CRITIC has its time, and now is not that time. Now is the time for THE ARTIST only.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
THE ARTIST thrives on unreason, and chaos, and foolishness. We dismiss those as sins, but in this instance, they are virtues.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Creation is messy. It's pyroclastic. It's not neat. It's lava spraying. It's lightning and clamor, man. And that's okay.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Silence your CRITIC and let your ARTIST run naked and on fire through a field of blood and daisies.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Translation: recognize you are the worst judge of your own work. So stop judging the work in the middle. Run forward. JUST RUN. Don’t stop.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
MAKING STUFF is about momentum. Doubt undercuts your momentum. Which means you have to first undercut the doubt.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Undercutting doubt is about saying to yourself, this is the time to MAKE stuff, not the time to FIX stuff. The fix comes later.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Undercutting doubt is saying, I don’t trust my higher mind, the intellectual part. I trust my lower, messier mind. I trust my instincts.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
TRUST THE MESS. Find truth in pigeon guts. It's all made-up stuff. This is not math, it's a kind of crass, gutter, monster magic.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Undercutting doubt is being the monster, not the monster hunter. Say fuck it and EAT THE VILLAGERS. Greedily. Giddily. Chomp chomp chomp.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Sure, the monster hunter will come for you eventually. But now is the time to rampage.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
The hardest but most vital part of all of this:
You have to defeat your own brain in the Thunderdome that is your skull.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Some say that overcoming self-doubt is about trusting yourself, but I’d argue it’s easier to just not care about your own judgment.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Best attitude for this: "I’m not sure about any of this, but I don’t care, I’m doing this shit anyway. LET’S SEE WHAT HAPPENS, WOOOOO.”
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
So, when you’re faced with self-doubt, you just say, “SHUT UP, ME,” and hold up two middle fingers that explode like firecrackers.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Then you go make the thing by stepping over the bound and gagged and wriggling body of your own self-doubt. Because eat shit, doubt.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Otherwise, the reverse will happen: your self-doubt will have YOU bound and gagged in the trunk of its Buick.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
You just gotta say, I’m going to do this now no matter what. I’ll fix it later or I’ll do something new.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
Give fewer fucks. Don't give zero fucks! You need some fucks in your fuck tank to fuel your fuckfest! But too MANY fucks kills the engine.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
To sum up: This isn’t easy. And it’s totally normal. But learn to doubt your doubt. Step over it. Go make the thing anyway. You can do it.
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
HERE.
THIS IS THE FLAMINGO OF DOUBT. IT IS A DUMB BIRD AND YOU SHOULD IGNORE IT.
THE END. pic.twitter.com/BeMZ7R9PSS
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 30, 2016
https://twitter.com/ChuckWendig/status/781862802701053952-
